WE'LL NEVER FIND HAPPINESS STOP LOOKING FOR IT!

Don't bother looking for happiness it cannot be found. Looking for happiness implies that there's a location somewhere or someplace we can go to and find it. That is not true. Happiness is not a place, neither is it limited to an event or time. Unfortunately most of us begin defining happiness by filling in the blank as follows: happiness is _____. This false premise has disillusioned so many of us that we unwittingly perpetuate it to our own demise. Some of us thought we would find happiness in money and possessions, others in popularity or fame. Although we often see it in relationships seeing it is much different from seeking or finding it. Happiness is not contingent upon any external stimuli. However we can create favorable circumstances and conditions that happiness flourishes in. Seeking happiness in terms of "having it" is a better approach. Happiness is neither static nor can it be accumulated and stored. Even our happy memories must initiate emotions for us to feel and enjoy them. Many times we picture happiness in terms of seemingly happy scenes, but looks can be deceiving. Happiness has no particular look. Happiness should not be defined in terms of how it looks or feels but in terms of what it creates and does. Happiness as Gretchen Rubin describes it is a project. After recently losing happiness it was rediscovered waiting right where it had left it. So Happiness is never far away, but we have to work to gain it and fight to keep it.

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HAPPINESS'S POEM


If happiness is what we seek
and it seems hard to find
the answer is not as we think
it is a state of mind.

Don't look for it in places
where it never can survive
its signs are on our faces
if we keep its love alive.

​Although it is invisible
we know that it is near 
there's nothing like the feeling
when our happiness appears.

To reach a state of happiness 
we may just have to pray
and once we reach our happy goal
we must fight to stay that way.
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Happiness has a scale. Although it has no units of measure, a comparative analysis allows us to rate it at some level. Happiness may be hoarded and handed out. However, if the second step which requires sharing is not adhered to happiness is lost. If happiness is not free it flees. Happiness cannot be held. It cannot be confined to any space, place or circumstance. Many hoarders think happiness is found by collecting things, but in order to maintain their addiction they must continually gather and hold on to armfuls with handfuls. Happiness is a state that we work to achieve through getting, sharing and keeping enough of it to create more. The scale for happiness is comparative. it is what makes us happier that we use as a criterion to judge just how happy we are. On the scale of happiness, the three major divisions are happy, happier and happiest. There is no sad, alright or "so so" on the happiness scale. The scale starts at happy and then ascends. There are a number of weights we can add to tip the scale higher. Possessions are a common source for happiness if they are properly nurtured, used and shared. Although low on the happiness scale, possessions permit us to happily project and share our identity within any environment. Once we abide in happiness it is important to mark and preserve the path that got us there. Most of the paths to gaining happiness function specifically through sharing and practicing them with someone else. Happiness is more closely associate and comparable with elements like earth, air, water and fire as opposed to some thrilling feeling. Like fire, happiness can catch on and be easily spread or quenched with water. Along with happiness comes a multitude of emotions that we usually associate with it. The emotions are a by-product of being happy; the emotions are not the happiness themselves. Happiness has a biochemical component. Positive emotions transmit and produce chemical responses in our bodies that become a normal part of our emotional balance. Likewise negative emotions operate the same way. In time our bodies normalize these excreted byproducts of emotions in much the same way that an addict adjusts to their drugs. Happiness will beget more happiness thus making us happier. The more happiness we bring into any situation the greater the effect it has on anyone involved.

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When couples are working on their marriage, the first question asked is why or what's wrong? Do we have to wait for things to go badly before addressing them. People work on their cars, houses or simply "work out" all the time even if nothing is wrong. Happiness must be maintained! Working on it all the time makes us happier according to the happiness scale and keeps things from going south. Happiness can best be created by influencing everyone we interact with to participate in it. We are always happiest ourselves when we are in the presence of others who are also happy. Happiness is an energy formed by both attitude and perspective. The exercise of happiness is as important as physical exercise for the body. As babies most of us started out in a happy and blissful state. Most of us agree that apart from fussing and crying babies are mostly happy and cheerful. They tend to stay that way until later on when the cares of life seemingly suck that happiness right out of them. Our natural state is one of happiness, just observe children. Happiness can be an elusive concept with multiple levels of being happy, happier or happiest. Happiness can come through organizing. Outer order can create inner calm. Just being able to manage the "stuff of life" provides a feeling of control even if it's just a feeling. Sometimes our state of happiness is enhanced from a sense of being in charge. The choice of happiness seems natural to babies and puppies but becomes more fleeting as we age. Once we discover that all we want out of life is to be happy, it is simply a matter of discovering what we need to do to actually makes ourselves happy. Happiness takes work. Happiness is not an emotion it is a "state of being" expressed by emotions. What is actually meant by "state of being" should be defined in terms of the difference between doing and being. Doing is performance and being is becoming. When we ask about careers; if it's an adult, the question is, what do you do? if it's a child, the question becomes what do you want to be?  Unfortunately, we often fail to associate "being" beyond occupational choices to expand its meaning to feelings. Surely most children if asked specifically what they would like to be would say they want to "be" happy.  Fortunately, happiness is such a big word that it can encompass the full range of meanings we give to it. Here are a few happiness helpers. These are actions and activities we can do that foster environments of happiness. Remember, although happiness has no fixed location, we can create favorable circumstances and conditions that happiness flourishes in. Sometimes all that happiness needs is a catalyst. A catalyst is an influential substance that increases a chemical reaction without itself undergoing any permanent chemical change. Try the exercises and activities listed below they are catalyst. As silly as some of these suggestions might sound, they are physical, tangible and visible "actions of spirit" anyone can use to bring happiness to themselves and others around them.

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THIS IS THE HAPPINESS CATALYST LIST

Scratch that itch. Seriously, find an itch and scratch it.
The feeling of relief from scratching can be as soothing
and enjoyable as sex. Don't overdo it; but concentration 
on the sensation will create some level of elation.

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Dance, that's right, just dance. Music isn't necessary
and any location will due. A partner isn't required.
It is the action and behavior of movement that invites
the feelings of happiness and summons the spirit of joy.

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Sing that song. Sing it loud, sing it long and sing it clear.
Let the universe know and hear the voice of expression.
In the elevator, in the kitchen or in the shower; whenever
the opportunity arises take advantage and sing, sing, sing.

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Set that sight. Select and focus on whats pleasant.
Make those eyes and imaginations see the picture perfect
things in life. Find a fairy tale and do " Disney" till dizzy.
​Take the mind to picturesque places of prominence.

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Defy gravity. There is no greater natural feeling of elation
then subjecting ourselves to a weightless sensation.  As silly 
as this may sound it works by getting our feet off the ground.
Jumping, swinging, skating, sledding, sliding and riding all work.

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Happiness is both a choice and a practice. Try to defy gravity. Flipping, floating and flying from off the ground, on the water, or through the air is really fun. Children love these type of physical activities, because next to tickling they are capable of producing happiness. Even those who are unable to do these activities can participate in them by watching others do them and joining within their minds. In the final analysis of life we know that there's got to be "something more" and that "something more" makes us "comfortable." When we discover exactly what that "something more" is, the answer will be to be happy.