FACING FACTORS FOR FORGIVENESS

Forgive and forget.  That's what they say. However saying and doing are two separate things.  Whether we want to comply with this concept or not;  no one can be expected to do something that is not possible to do. The more we understand in life, as to what is and what is not under our volitional control, the easier it will be to deal with life. Let's put it plainly forgiveness is possible forgetting is not! It is only through forgiveness that we can reconcile or "get over" any experience by deciding and learning to coexist with them peacefully within our memory. Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting. Rather, forgiveness means letting go of the pain the incident is causing us. We are hard wired to remember things, this is how we mature and grow; forgetting is not natural. We learn through experiencing. As we experience more and more in life, compiling and recalling every experience becomes increasingly challenging. The more impacting the experience the easier it is to remember. We should never forget life's lessons. Forgetting traumatically implies a measurable memory loss or a conscious or subconscious denial. We are hard wired not to forget!  Forgiveness is not hard wired! Forgiveness is seeded into the soil of our souls and must be watered. Forgiveness is the substrate of love. True love is impossible without it.  Most of us agree that love is an intangible force with feelings, form and function. There is fact and force behind the saying, "love conquerors all." The fact is that with the proper agent it can and that through the proper application it will. The highest level of "LOVES" functioning is forgiveness. There is nothing of a higher magnitude for the expression of love then to forgive. Forgetting is not a choice forgiving is. There are things many of us would like to forget or at least pretend they never occurred, but our "minds" memory stores everything. Forgetting is more than simply loosing track of the information inside our mind it is loosing the capability to access it. Feelings provide the biggest barrier to forgiveness. We are not required to forget to forgive! Let's not go to deep. There are exceptions like PTSD. People who suffer from PTSD have feelings attached to witnessed or experienced traumatic memories they can't shake. This goes beyond the physiological response from our sympathetic system to freeze, fight or flight. PTSD affects sleeping, relationships and response to everyday events. We are not referring to flashbacks, hyperarousal, avoidance or negative beliefs. We are referring to everyday feelings we all share. How we feel about an experience determines how we process it within our minds. Although our ego provides us with our sense of worth and self esteem it also mediates between fault and responsibility for actions and experiences.

Forgiveness is generally a simple activity until it faces our ego.  We can measure our ego in light of how easily we are offended. The larger the ego the more it must be controlled and balanced by intellect to subordinate it. Our ego is the ultimate defense mechanism and demands logic, reasoning and answers when damaged, hurt or bruised.  It can be both our first line of defense and our last resort. Questioning "HOW" and Determining "WHY" anything bothers us is essential for ego control. Taking offense is derived from our perception of, or exception to, an event.  When someone offends us or "hurts our feelings" ego can justify any behavior. Strong feelings are a formidable opponent that can override sound thinking. This sanctions "the right" to react.  Let's put it plainly feelings are the substance of meaning we use to express a position, they are intangible. In reality all feelings are created, formed, or manufactured by our interpretation of facts. Emotional feelings are a sensation that carry more components than our sensory (Tangible) or intellectual (Invisible) faculties can define. We know there are multiple elements that constitute the building blocks of emotions. We know that we have feelings and feel emotions. Our emotions are impacted by our senses. There is still some disagreement about the number of senses humans have, but everyone agrees that there are more then five. Our faculties are the control panel of an incredibly complex system. The "spirit" or "wiring" of our humanity contributes in the creation of every sensation we feel and every experience we interpret.

There are no prerequisites for forgiveness. The only criteria is the choice to exercise it. It is not uncommon to blame a feeling or the lack thereof for an action.  If we only do what we feel like doing and don't do anything we don't feel like doing our emotions rule us. Emotions should function as guards not guides. Although feelings and emotions are first cousins they are different. One of the many distinctions is that emotions function at a more intimate level than feelings. We have different feelings about almost anything. It is when we are "moved or touched" by a feeling, an emotional response occurs from a vulnerable space we guard inside us. Joy Pain Happiness & Hurt all occupy that vulnerable space together, it gets as large as we want to make it. When we allow our senses, both sensory and intellectual to influence our actions we are better balanced. Our sensory faculties of Taste, Touch, Seeing, Hearing, Smelling, Pressure, Temperature, Direction and Time function as encouragement, warning or survival cues. Whatever feelings we sanction also justify the accompanying emotions that rationalize our reactions. The byproduct of our feelings impact any environment they exist in. This is the consciousness we select and project. This initiates the endemic manifestations we experience. The best way to embrace this topic is to substitute the word "forgive" in place of the word "love" whenever it's used.  "Love (forgiveness) will conquer all." (Lionel Richie)  God so loved (forgave) the world (John 3:16). He that loveth (forgives) not knoweth not God, for God is love.(forgiveness) (1John 4:8).  Greater love (forgiveness) has no man then this that he would lay down his feelings for a friend (John 15:13). Though I speak with the tongue of men and angels and have not love (forgiveness), I become as a sounding brass or tinkling cymbal (1 Cor. 13:1). Forgiveness, among other things, is giving up the right to hurt someone that hurt us, just as Love is an act of continual and endless forgiveness.